Coaching Clients Through Relationship Challenges

By Katherine Frankel, CPC

Many coaching clients come to me with relationship challenges.

Rather than dealing with the surface emotional issues, it can be helpful to examine the relationships your clients want in their lives and what they hope to achieve from them.  Then, determine what they need to do to attract the relationships and maintain them.

A simple and effective way to do this is to have your client complete the following table:


Under each category in column one, have your client list words that describe what they want and need in each relationship category.

Starting with the 'Self' category they will describe who and what they will need to be, in character and behavior, to achieve their life goals and feel good while doing it.

Under 'Family', they will list all family members they want active relationships with.

In the 'Romantic' category, they will describe their ideal partner, including physical descriptions, values and behavioral descriptions.

'Business' covers the relationships necessary to facilitate their business success. It may include a strong relationship with a boss and co-workers, a mentor or a networking club.

'Personal Support' covers relationships to keep your client feeling happy and balanced. These could include a social club, a therapist or a spiritual group.

The final category, ‘Recreational', covers relationships to ensure your clients’ recreational time is the most fulfilling and pleasurable it can be. It might include a softball league, a workout buddy, a bridge group or a book club.

Having completed their list of relationships your clients are ready to move on to the 'Objective' column where they specify what they want to achieve in each relationship they listed.

Finally, in the third column 'Achievement Plan', they will specify how they will achieve each of those relationship objectives. If they want to meet a partner with strong religious beliefs, they may want to join a church that has mixers and social events. If they want to be a wonderful son/daughter, they may decide to visit their parents at least once a week. If their objectives include maintaining a romantic marriage, their achievement plan may include a romantic, weekly date night.

This table provides a fun, easy means for your clients to analyze their relationship needs and goals and then work out how to most effectively achieve them.

To reach Katherine Frankel:
Tel: 914-630-1396

Katherine Frankel, CPC